Mars vs. Venus

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Mars vs. Venus

Post  Dipshit on Fri Oct 22, 2010 2:55 am

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus
and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually
says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went
to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went
shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked
around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I
told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for
each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so
excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally
said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for
the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least
that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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Re: Mars vs. Venus

Post  zamora on Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:17 am

Holy Crap that was funny!


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